Billy-Ball Daily: 2007-4-4

4/4/2007
Billy-Ball Daily
Bill Chuck (Billy-Ball his own self)

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The only spin here is on my screwball

Wednesday, April 04, 2007

Top of the 1st
FIRST PITCH
As many of you know I gave up a promising career as a ballplayer in order to devote myself to being a baseball writer. Okay, there is so nothing true to what I just wrote. The truth is I could never have been a ballplayer and there simply is not enough space to write all the reasons why.

However, with all of my shortcomings (height included) and all of my weaknesses (will start weeping if a pitcher throws a fastball above the legal speed limit for driving on suburban roads near a school), one thing I could always do is throw a ball. If you want to have a catch, call me and I’ll be right over.

Even with all my neurotic fears that flare like an allergic child who has been dunked in a tub of Skippy chunky peanut butter, I think given the responsibility of tossing a first pitch of a ballgame, I could do it and I would venture most of you could do it as well.

This brings us to Cincinnati Mayor Mark Mallory whose Opening Day first pitch was so bad that he has been forced to release a Top Ten list of reasons why the pitch was so awful. By the by, the Mayor is no threat to David Letterman either although the best one was #2: My best sport is Putt-Putt. Perhaps that why Mallory will re-do his failed Opening Day pitch tonight on ABC-TV’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live.”

The pitch flew many feet to the right of catcher Eric Davis, was well short and bounced – “I mean, it got nowhere near him,” the mayor said. And this after Mallory shortened the 60