Bill Chuck (Billy-Ball his own self)
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By Baseball Newstalgist, Bill Chuck
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The only spin here is on my screwball
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Top of the 1st
BASEBALL’S 10 GREAT LIES
“The check is in the mail,” is one of life’s great lies not unlike “I just need five minutes of your time.” If you hear someone say to you that they only need five minutes, book a half hour. Just do it and understand that there is as much truth to that statement as there is when your parents said to you “This will hurt me more than it hurts you.” Yeah, I don’t think so.
The person who tells the lie is usually not lying to be mean, or even to hurt you. Quite often when someone at a restaurant tells you “Your table will be ready in a minute” that person says it because she think it will make you feel better. It usually doesn’t turn out that way, kind of like “I’m from the IRS and I’m here to help you.”
Sometimes the lie is designed to ease you into a purchase as in “This offer is limited to the first 50 people who call in” or “One size fits all.” Look at me buddy, I’m short, I’m fat, and bald. Don’t tell me that there is anything that I wear will also fit Denzel Washington.
Of course, sometimes the lie is purely a lie as in “I’m sorry I’m late. I got stuck in traffic” or the Bill Chuck classic, “Honestly sweetie, I’ll start my diet tomorrow.” The underlying message there is “Yes, I’ll have cake AND ice cream and don’t be cheap about the portions.”
Baseball is like every other part of life in that it is not immune from lies. Benjamin Disraeli could have been speaking about the sport when he said, “There are three kinds of lies: Lies, damned lies and statistics.”
I have compiled a list of ten lies and there are enough other lies to fill a book (my publisher at ACTA Sports better beware a proposal is forthcoming.) Here’s my first 10:
#10 “I don’t care about the no-hitter, winning for my team is the most important thing.”
#9 “I just finished writing my autobiography.”
#8 “As Commissioner my job is to represent the fans.”
#7 “The trade deadline is July 31.”
#6 “He had terrific stuff, they just hit good pitches.”
#5 “I was in my room long before curfew.”
#4 “I want to retire wearing this uniform.”
#3 “I am so not gay.”
#2 “It was my new exercise regimen. I have never used performance enhancing drugs.”
#1 “It’s not about the money.”
Send me more baseball lies: Bill@Billy-Ball.com
Top of the 2nd
THEY’RE ALL LOSERS
Bad day and night in the NL East.
How large a lead does the Mets bullpen need for it to be safe? Yesterday, the Mets had a 5-1 lead after six strong innings from Pedro Martinez, but five relievers couldn’t hold the lead against the Pirates. The Bucs scored three times in the 7th and three more in the 9th while the Mets offense just shut down and Pitt ended on top, 7-5. Nine times this season New York has lost a game in which it led fom the 8th inning on and while closer Billy Wagner has his share of blown save, since he’s been on the DL, the bullpen has collapsed in flames.
The first place Phils had a chance to open up some more space but they blew it in an 8-6 loss to the Dodgers. Newly acquired Casey Blake hit a two-run homer and Manny Ramirez doubled home two more during a six-run 3rd for the victors. The victory was Torre’s 2,126th in the regular season, tying him with Marse Joe McCarthy for seventh place on the career list.
The third team in the NL East race also went down as the Cards topped the Marlins, 4-2. Yadier Molina hit a two-run homer and Joel Pineiro pitched seven strong innings for St. Louis.
Top of the 3rd
A NEW LEADER IN THE AL CENTRAL
The White Sox John Danks needed a no-hitter to defeat the Red Sox Josh Beckett last night and all he could put together was 6 1/3 inning. Boston got their first hit in 7th when Kevin Youkilis broke his bat and dropped a single to center. Moments later, J.D. Drew’s two-run double put Boston ahead 2-1 and Boston went on to a 5-1 victory. Josh Beckett improved to 4-0 for his career against the White Sox by pitching eight innings giving up seven hits, striking out eight and he did not walk a batter for his second consecutive win after losing three straight. Danks, who had his six-game win streak snapped, allowed just allowing just two runs, two hits and two walks while tying a career high with nine strikeouts in seven innings. Dustin Pedroia went 0-4 and had his 29-game road hit streak snapped.
The White Sox loss dropped them out of first place as the Twins beat the slumping Yankees, 4-0. Glen Perkins, whose wife gave birth to a baby girl Sunday night, allowed four hits and three walks over eight shutout innings. Perkins (9-3) struck out four and produced two inning-ending double plays. Twins manager Ron Gardenhire picked up career win No. 600 as Joe Nathan struck out Bobby Abreu, Alex Rodriguez and Xavier Nady in the 9th to complete the first shutout of the Yankees at the Metrodome since June 24, 1996. A-Rod is hitting .216 in August.
Top of the 4th
Don’t forget the Brewers who continued their winning ways by defeating the Nationals yesterday, 7-1. Dave Bush pitched a five-hitter over 6 1/3 innings for his second consecutive win as Rickie Weeks and Corey Hart homered. In his last six starts, Dave Bush has 41 strikeouts and five walks in 41.2 innings pitched. The Brewers swept the Nationals and have now won six straight to move 3