Top Nine reasons why Jim Riggleman resigned

Jim Riggleman shockingly resigned yesterday as the manager of the Washington Nationals moments after his team had defeated the Mariners in a walkoff, 1-0, and winning for the 11th time in 12 games. He leaves the Nationals above .500 at 38-37.

“I’m 58,” Riggleman said. “I’m too old to be disrespected.” In that case he shouldn’t read this column or any other about his decision.

Here are the Top Nine reasons why Jim Riggleman resigned:

1. His record as Minister of Finance for Greece speaks for itself.
2. “Who needs the Washington Nationals? The Washington Generals are my team!”
3. Managing interferes with his plans to go on a three-hour tour with the Skipper and Mary Ann.
4. Was told he always has a job with Frank McCourt.
5. Meet the new manager of the Newt Gingrich campaign team
6. Plans to tour under the anagramatic pseudonym “Jam Riming Leg”
7. Not used to teams that win, wants to manage the Astros.
8. Wants to market his trademarked phrase, “Pulling a Riggleman.”
9. Wanted more time to hang with Bieber.
10. “I didn’t say I wanted to resign, I said I wanted to re-sign, re-sign!”

ESPN Baseball Tonight discussed the Nationals on Wednesday night:

The Riggleman record speaks for itself: