You can’t spell Iron Pigs without Pee

The Lehigh Valley IronPigs, the Triple-A affiliate of the Phillies, have enabled Coca-Cola Park to be the first sports venue in the world to feature a “Urinal Gaming System.”

Oh, how I wish I were joking.

This is the world’s only truly hands-free urinal game controller, and these p-controlled video game systems will be featured within all men’s restrooms at the ballpark.

When a user approaches the urinal, the video console flips into gaming mode, using patented technology that detects both his presence and stream. Algorithms then allow the user to engage with the screen by aiming in different directions to test their agility and knowledge. The Urinal Gaming System was created and developed by United Kingdom-based Captive Media.

There are a number of games planned for the 2013 season, including alpine skiing, which allows users to speed their way through snowy mountains on a snowmobile while attempting to splash cartoon penguins.¬†Upon completion (an average of over 55 seconds according to published research), users will receive their score and a code to enter. They can then view their position on the leader board or check the website to see how they stack up with the rest of that night’s competition.

High scores will be displayed in real-time across various videoboard displays within Coca-Cola Park.

“These games are sure to make a huge splash,” exclaimed IronPigs General Manager Kurt Landes

I’m not interested in finding out what is number two on their idea list.